Delaying Moving for Seminary, Maybe Indefinitely

We have made the decision to stay in Washington state for the time being.  That time could be one year or indefinite.  We don't really know.  What we do know is that as a family we are not ready to go into the crucible that is seminary.  It is a crucible because it would involve three years of intense study, little disposable income, homeschooling challenges in PA, challenges regarding housing, and maybe a few more things that do not readily come to mind.

I think that deciding to deny myself something I've wanted to pursue since I was 18 years old is wise.  It is wise because it is the best choice for my family.  It is also wise because God has called me to minister in our local context. 

First, I have been called to minister to my family.  I have recently taken over the finances and am paying off our debts as well as starting to set up budgets and spending plans that will be forward looking rather than merely resolving day to day needs.  I was not able to serve my family in this way during my navy days.  I have been out of the navy for four years now and we are in a position where I can now do this.  I am also the primary disciplinarian in my home.  If I focus more on my studies, I will focus less on the nurture of my children.  This is only natural.  But what is better, four classes at a time that max out my ability to focus or one class at a time which raises a challenge but allows for focus on the nurture and care of a large family with several young children?

Second, I have been called to minister in my parish and diocese.  Ministering to youth and families is the closest to my heart in terms of passion and calling.  I have a strong sense of informal calling to a parish that is experiencing the addition of energetic families and young couples.  I may also have a formal calling; we will see if it comes to fruition.

Third, there is the general calling and admonition given to all Christians in the Great Commission.  We have spent six years here and are building community.  We have many connections through church, work, and homeschooling.  We want to get more involved in responsibly sourcing our food.  That involves purchasing grass fed beef, buying from local food coops, and starting to experiment with growing some of our own food!  I want to transition to working from home.  We'll see if this one pans out, but it has already provided opportunities to talk to people and hone my skills in writing.  Just the other day I was reading On Writing Well while waiting for my eye exam.  The optometrist took down the title of the book because he also has an interest in writing!  These connections are built over time.  Entrepreneurship is a way to serve the people.  A career in writing does just that.  It is also a way to influence people.  Preaching the Gospel isn't merely an exercise in spewing facts or logic, though it may include those aspects, but it is an opportunity to create fresh and vivid vision with words that people can readily accept and cling to as if their lives depend on it; they surely do.

Why leave?  Why leave when everything that I truly feel called to do is staring at me in the face?  My work is cut out for me.  If I fail it is because I knew what the right thing to do was, but I didn't do it.