Revisiting Writing as a Career

What has gone on that you want to know about?  Well, I haven't blogged as you know.  I have participated in music a lot more this year than any other year of my life.  I am getting comfortable with singing into a microphone (it was weird the first dozen times, or so).  I made the decision to attend seminary.  Really, it was a decision 16 years in the making, but the plan is for the fall of 2019.  Trinity School for Ministry (TSM, aka "Trinity")(near Pittsburgh), here we come!  I have learned to type, finally!  I am getting up at 4 am, reading a bit of scripture, then reading a book on homiletics (in preparation for seminary).  How did we get here?

Singing
The volunteers for serving at the altar have increased in number.  The amount of times I am on the schedule for each quarter has dropped, freeing me up to join with the musicians in leading congregational worship.  Some days I fare better than others.  No, it's not a "performance."  Yes, the word "perform" still applies to how a person 'does' music.  In that way, my performance isn't always where I would like it to be.  I want to aid in the worship, not distract.  Enough on that.  Morning singing?  Yuck!  Who knew?  Not I.  I don't have enough time to warm up my voice and then give it time to recuperate following the inevitable over use/straining/whatever I am doing.  I am left on the horns of a dilemma.  Do I warm up or do I risk losing my voice (due to fatigue, yeah, I think that's what it is)?  Any morning singers out there who could help me on this one?!  (Maybe I should ask my voice coach.  I just stopped going after 5 sessions in 2017 partly due to time and partly due to money.  But if your'e ever in Seattle and want a good coach, check out Chris McCafferty, he really helped me on my journey of getting to the next level.)

Seminary
It started back when I was 18 years old.  I have never lost that desire to attend seminary and become a pastor.  Is it the INFP in me?  More on that later.  Anyways, I attended the Diocese of Cascadia 2018 Spring Men's Retreat and was confronted with many thoughts.  What is God trying to tell me?  Will I leave this weekend with answers?  If I get quiet enough, maybe.  My Bishop poked me about attending Trinity for something like the third time in as many years.  God, do you really want me to uproot my family and leave all of the connections we have been making here in the Pacific Northwest?!  I was brought up in Evangelical circles.  If there is anything that we want to hold onto more than God, let that be ANATHEMA!  I put my growing attachment to this area on the "altar" and it became abundantly clear to me that it was time to pack my bags.  Three years prior, when I was leaving active military service, we counted the cost and realized that we would not be able to afford going to seminary at that time (we are on track to be debt free as we embark on this journey, God willing).  Then I threw a proverbial dart at the dartboard, aiming for the Fall of 2019.  And here we are!  Time will tell if God is with us.  I have a sneaking suspicion, He is.

INFP
Speaking of typing, er, I mean type; I love my 'impossible' segues, sometimes they're all you've got.  I slowed down my typing a year ago.  I was henpecking with the best of them, but I wanted change.  Now I'm typing about as fast (maybe faster, at times) than when I was a full time 'chicken.'  That has no relation to this paragraph's title "INFP" to which, we will now turn!  I have always tested as an ISTJ when taking those fun, online MBTI tests.  I have never been fully satisfied with it however.  Or I cannot just leave well enough alone.  Unfortunately people (read: I) take these things in a predictive manner (think: astrology).  I didn't intend to, it just came too easy in self-analysis to use what I learned and in verbally presenting myself to others.  In 2014 I learned about cognitive functions and I realized that my earlier assignment may have been wrong and I could likely determine what my personality type really was and is.  After a bit of reading and analysis, I determined that I could not be a J type and was clearly a P type.  So, I did the second worst thing you can do with personality typing (my created list of worsts, of course; the first of which I mentioned above) and I changed one letter of the four in ISTJ.  I now identified myself as an ISTP.  This I have learned is totally NOT legit'.  My brother, in one of his prescient moments over the years, said that he thought I was more intuitive than I gave myself credit for (uh! ending with a preposition, I know; hence the parenthetical, oh yeah!).  Reading more about cognitive functions, I came across this website:  Type in Mind (that's a link to my type, BTW).  I knew enough to figure out my type, finally!  I knew my cognitive functions and I could only be one of two types:  ISTJ or INFP.  Well now, doesn't that give you pause for reflection?  Maybe I am an ISTJ.  Really drilling down on my personal history (all in my head, so you cannot validate this, you'll have to trust me, or not), bending my powers of thought to the task, and trying my best to be frank with myself, I have concluded that I have always been an INFP and that I will probably test as an ISTJ for the foreseeable future given my upbringing and the first 30 years of my life spent in a "Te grip."  Look it up.  It took talking to a psychologist to break me out of this grip (none of this was discussed then and there, BTW.  This is all hindsight analysis).  It is all kind of a "laugh."  I should not have put so much stock into this stuff and yet I could not ignore it either.  If you suffer from what I do, I'm sorry for your plight.  Talk to me, maybe I can help.  After all, I'm a "healer" type (INFP), at least I think I am ;)

Homiletics
I have a suggested reading list for seminary preparation.  On that list is a book on exegesis and hermeneutics.  But as I was reading that book, I was starting to get "that" feeling.  You know what I'm talking about.  "We are probably going to argue, a lot."  My ink started to spill into the margins of the page as I progressed through a book which promised to be as helpful as a bowl of warm soup to an empty stomach (my metaphor, not the publishers).  Alas, I was disheartened.  Am I such a contrarian that I can't get along?  Does this foreshadow my seminary experience?  But before I could succumb to the "just deal with it," I remembered that I had a book in my library which pertained (if you are serious, you have a library full of books which you have not read and may never read, yeah, that serious, now you know).  As I started reading it, my fears and anxieties transformed into an excruciating intellectual "suck."  By that, I mean that it feels like I'm having to vacuum my mind of cobwebs and other junk which may be clouding my ability to put what I am learning from this book into practice.  Backstory - I read Days of Vengeance when I was 17/18 years old and became hooked on the way of thinking presented in the pages of that volume.  Fifteen years later, I finally read the book outlining a thesis which helped that former book to take shape.  This book is titled That You May Prosper.  In the bibliography, a seminal book was identified Sola Scriptura.  It is this book, the author intimated, which should be read by everyone who desires to preach the Word of God.  It is here, in the pages of this doctoral thesis, where my mind has been of late.  It is here where I grieve through the process of purifying my thinking, blundering about, trying to understand the author.  If I have cracked out any meat from the husk thus far, it has left me sore grieved to think about how badly we have preached the Word of God to the people of God.  I'm not talking about a "we've all been doing it wrong until now" kind of mentality.  I'm talking about an open discussion/debate which took place in the 20's and 30's in reformed churches in the Netherlands and was never settled, to the detriment of the reformed theology preaching community.  I haven't finished the book, so I really cannot say more without (probably) misrepresenting the issues at play.  Suffice it to say that, if Sidney Greidanus is right, I have a lot of work to add to the "a lot of work" I already knew I had to do in getting into this particular vocation.

Writing
Now to be more definitive (in line with the title of this post).  If you google the careers for an INFP, I have done the ones that are "bad" for my type.  Don't I know it!  I am revisiting the old ideas which have never quite left me alone.  Writing is one of them.  In a writing career I can tap into my strengths as long as I develop my career along those lines:  independent, creative, and innovative (not the qualities that the military is looking for, despite recent initiatives to the contrary).  It is scary to say the least, to contemplate another career change.  But I know that I have the support of my family and that a happier me (not that happiness is everything, but it is something) will alter our family life for the better.  I don't know if the "pulpit" of writing is what I have been called to or a pulpit in a parish setting or neither.  All I know is that I have thoughts, healing thoughts and they are burning in my chest.  The time to share them with the world has come (prompts like this help too!).  Stay tuned for more.

Intelligent Children?

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

Interestingly enough this book has caused a stir regarding the level of intelligence that children really have. I must say for my part I agree with the author's assessment. I think children are smarter than most adults give them credit for. In fact, I merely think of children as little people; for that is who they really are. A lot of people act/talk differently around children "condescending to their level." I, on the other hand, talk differently when I am around adults-adults wear masks-and plainly when I speak to children. I have to craft my words when I talk to adults when I am around children all I have to do is be myself.

I know that I am "grown up," but I don't "feel" grown up. I think/feel the same as when I was a child-child defined as younger than 18yrs old. Adults make such sharp distinctions on what it is to be adult. Drinking coffee, dissociating with children, getting into debt; these are some of the telltale signs of adulthood...I practice none of these (I know these are not the same for everyone but these are my example of why I do not "feel" adult).

And...I am an adult. I can start a sentence with "and" if I want to. "Being an adult is having the ability to make the choice." Well, I had the cognitive ability to make that choice when I was 5-and many other choices growing up.

I'll admit that I have matured, but my theories have not drastically changed. I am still the same creature philosophically and theologically-meaning I see the world through the same eyes as when I was a "child."

More admissions: God has put parents in authority over their children so what they say is right bottom line. Not necessarily right before God, but right for the child to obey w/o a divisive and questioning attitude. There is supposedly a recourse for children to call into question whether the parent's ruling is in accordance with God's law but usually parents make it very difficult to appeal.

My antipathy regarding this entire affair under consideration is the unjust, unfair, and unequal treatment of children. Jesus said "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them" (Matthew 19:14).

I believe that they must learn their place in humanity: as under authority and never autonomous.

I believe that they must learn their place in humanity: persons yet maturing.

Dystopian Future II?

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

Much like 1984, Brave New World is an eerie revelation of what life could be like without the restraint of the Holy Spirit in this world. In fact both accounts detail what may appear to be the undermining of Freedom in America. Not to sound like an alarmist or anything: Wake up, "don't you want to be free?"

Concepts:

Continuous war=War on terror.

Uneducation=Implementation of the "look-say" method of teaching students how to read. "No child left behind."

Conditioning=Government(public) schools

Happiness=Trading our freedoms for "safety."

Big Brother=Patriot Act legalizing internal surveillance to the extent that it does



If I think of more I will update this list.

Dystopian Future?

Nineteen Eighty-Four By George Orwell

Quotes:

War is Peace
Freedom is Slavery
Ignorance is Strength

Big Brother is Watching You

Who controls the past controls the future:
who controls the present controls the past.

Until they become conscious they will never rebel,
and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious.

The problem was how to keep the wheels of industry turning
without increasing the real wealth of the world.
Goods must be produced,
but they need not be distributed.
And in practice the only way
of achieving this was by continuous warfare.

The command of the old despotisms was 'Thou shalt not.'
The command of the totalitarians was 'Thou shalt.'
Our command is 'Thou art.'

There are three stages in your reintegration...
There is learning, there is understanding, and there is acceptance.

Newspeak:

Ingsoc

Doublethink

Crimestop

Goodthink

Doubleplusgood Duckspeaker

Oldspeak:

According to the book, "War is Peace," referred to the condition of the state. Through a continuous war, no side would ever gain the advantage placing the citizens at the mercy of a wartime economy. Freedom truly is slavery of a sort. For true liberty to exist we as Americans would be enslaved to "Responsibility." In the book, ignorance of true liberty allows you to survive day to day. Big Brother, oh yeah, we live in a surveillant society.

Ingsoc=English Socialism

Doublethink=To think contradictorily in such a way as to accept anything.

Crimestop=To stop a logical train of thought before it becomes a thought crime.

Goodthink=Thoughts that agree with whatever the powers that be deem is "right."

Doubleplusgood Duckspeaker=Read the book and figure it out for yourself.